Namaste! Not KameHameHa!

Today I sat down after a very brief workout and realized that there was something stirring within my soul. Usually, I am committed to exercising (when I'm not running) for at least one hour before getting on with the rest of my day. This was not one of those days.

Last night I got into a fiery argument with the hubster' and in the heat of the moment, started firing off all these real nasty comments and remarks that even I had no idea had come out of my mouth. I mean I was on a roll and like our son says, I was "kamay hamay ha'ing'' the heck out of him like Goku; which spiritually left a bitter taste in my mouth as well as a egotistical feeling of victory of some sort that I'd cut down the opposition.

Need I say I was pissed! Mind you for the past few months I'd been on a steady path to spiritual enlightenment and conscious creation. It has become my number one goal to become a master of myself; master of my own perceptions, master of my own emotions, master of my own reactions and master of my own actions. I want no to be a reactor but a creator of my own outcomes. Since I am now aware that I (we) are all made in the image and likeness of the One Creator, the Heavenly Father, I now know that I am not a victim of life and it's many circumstances; whether fortunate or unfortunate and that nothing is really good neither bad. It is my perception of it.

So what in the world went askew after the 11 o'clock hour last night? Was it some supernatural occurrence of the Super-lunar eclipse?  Was it me allowing so many things to disturb my consciousness for so many days that I blew my cap? Was it reasonable and perfectly logical for me to label and diminish my own best-friends character and spirit and self? Absolutely not or maybe it was all of the above. My mature conception of what took place was that I was strictly moving from my own ego. It is the ego and the go alone that victimizes oneself and feels like someone outside of you is responsible for creating these emotions now stirred up within. "Oh but I'm no victim!" Well, to myself I now say, "Last night you sure were." Acknowledgement is the first step to change.

Dr. Wayne Dyer talked about a gentleman he learned from some years ago during one of his interviews and quotes him as saying, "It is not the saying the word 'water' that gets you wet.''  Truth! It isn't at all. It is only the water itself and making physical contact with it that does. The feeling of water. Therefore, no matter if I called my dear husband an angel, a dog, a God-sent, a piece of turd or the love of my life makes absolutely no difference; it's the FEELING that matters.

Whenever people said, 'Whatever we see in others exists in ourselves'', I always shrugged and said that is a lie. "I'm certainly not selfish", "I am not a liar.", "I don't take advantage of other people" or whatever it may be. It took that incident occurring for me to finally understand the truth in that statement and also to understand Dr. Dyer saying that when you put a label on something that you negate it. How my heart is so forever thankful for that man's life on earth for sharing love, peace and unity. He will be missed physically by many who knew him but will always be present in spirit.

I am in the process of reading all sorts of fascinating literature about human consciousness, new thought and spiritual awakening. The current one is 'Magic in Your Mind' written by U. S. Andersen. This is indeed an awesome book and the author writes in full detail about there being a 'Secret Self' that is always connected to infinite Source and Power and Awareness versus the limitations we as human beings have when we live only by our surface self; or that of the ego.  By labeling something, you automatically show that you are using your minimal five senses only to see them and 'sum them up' so to speak and not allowing your spirit to feel who they really are deep within. After everything had cooled down and we both apologized to each other i felt even worse than I had before. I had come to the realization of the fact that, "If he IS really all of these nasty things that I said he is, then why am I even with him and then what does that make ME?" Most people don't understand that by calling someone "childish" or "immature", that doesn't make them so, but affirms for sure that you are instead. Why? Because instead of choosing the high road of response or even choosing to call their action a ''childish" one, you've now narrowed them down to being a child, therefore making you a child yourself. Like the saying in school went, "It takes one to know one." You've chosen to be the victim in the entire situation by name-calling and so now who's the childish one?


"What good is it,” a man sometimes asks. “to have a self that is so far beyond your comprehension, that isn’t even the you that you’ve always thought yourself to be?” There is a very great deal of good. If you focus yourself in the surface mind, then the dimensions of life are forever hidden from you; you do not know where you came from and you do not know where you are going; you even wonder if one day you might suddenly cease to be. You cannot fathom the billions of miles of distance to the nearest star or the billions of years since the earth first swung into orbit around the sun. You cannot see the mind of another person, understand what animates a living being, comprehend the purpose of life. All is mystery, all dwarfs the little ego, which literally cannot see beyond its own nose and grasps even that but vaguely. 63 Unless we are as uncomprehending as cows in the field, we cannot help but be sick when we live focused in the ego; the world is just too big. Fear and futility and guilt and frustration are our daily lot when we are small and inadequate and know that we are small and inadequate. We may be mice and roar like lions, but we will soon know that we are mice if we live absorbed in the ego. Life taps each man on the shoulder. He either listens or he gets knocked down. No individual reigns supreme; we are all part and parcel of one mind, one self, one supreme intelligence; and inasmuch as we understand this transforming fact that intelligence enters completely into us and possesses us and uses us for its work in the world, so that we perform to the zenith of our human capabilities"

It is impossible for our basic senses to sum up the totality of any creation in this realm of existence for we simply cannot see the innate livingness of anything simply by looking at it. Each and every day a living thing is alive it changes and sometimes the being is itself clueless of these changes.  A person grows day by day and so who am I to say what exactly he or she is. We are all part of one Whole, no matter what outer form we are choosing to 'be' at any given moment. 

In all of that I learned something wonderful from him (hubby) and that is something I need to grow within my own self. That is that no matter what someone says about you or thinks about you, you are not their perception of you; you are far greater. Usually when people say something good about us, we choose to accept it completely and relish in it. It is only when something negative or berating is said that we tend to jump to our own defense and vehemently oppose it or decide to take the low-road of 'tit for tat'. This turns you into a reactor instead of the creator we were made to be and embody. 

I don't make a habit of discussing the details of my personal affairs but feel like there is a great lesson here to be learned. When the enemy (Satan) fathoms for even a second the extent of your spiritual growth he does his best to tear it down and nullify your progress. It is our duty to overcome his tactics. I am naturally curious and like to know what's going on around and so i could literally feel bitterness and anger festering in my soul every time I tune into our depressing local news and see another man shot dead or all the poli-tricks taking place right before our eyes by out-of-touch veteran politicians; the chaos of the streets on the way to pick my daughter up from school and all sorts of negativity that I've allowed to take up residence in my soul. Of this we have to stay on guard. Like the apostle Paul stated in Philippians 4:8, " Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  My husband deserves great credit because in all of this tirade, he chose not to travel upon that same road but rather saw exactly what was happening within my own psyche that I was completely unaware of myself, which taught me an invaluable lesson; one that we should all learn from.

~Namaste~